Latest Sports News
Bears Choose To Play Without A Quarterback This Season
- By Jerome Davis
- Published 08/18/2008
- Football Satire
- Unrated
The Chicago Bears have made an unprecedented move today. They have decided to go into the NFL season with no starting quarterback. With nobody emerging as a candidate for the starting job, coach Lovie Smith has decided on nobody.
"We just do not have anyone worthy of putting under center at this time. If I had to make a decision I would simply quit because there is nobody in this camp that can lead this team," said Smith at a news conference announcing his decision...
"We just do not have anyone worthy of putting under center at this time. If I had to make a decision I would simply quit because there is nobody in this camp that can lead this team," said Smith at a news conference announcing his decision...
Tom Glavine Out For Season After Thirty Three MPH Pitch
- By Oscar Baines
- Published 08/16/2008
- Baseball Satire
- Unrated
Tom Glavine has made a career out of working the corners of the plate. It turns out, however, that it does not matter how good your control is when your fastball is only thirty three miles per hour.
Glavine announced on Saturday that his season is over. His reasoning for shutting it down was simple, his fastball was no longer a fastball, it was a change up. There is nothing Glavine could do but face reality...
Glavine announced on Saturday that his season is over. His reasoning for shutting it down was simple, his fastball was no longer a fastball, it was a change up. There is nothing Glavine could do but face reality...
Jeter Out Of Lineup After Injuring Foot Kicking A-Rod In The A**
- By Bill Shanker
- Published 08/13/2008
- Baseball Satire
- Unrated
Derek Jeter was out of the New York Yankees lineup on Wednesday night and there was a good reason according to his manager. Jeter, apparently so fed up with the self absorbed Alex Rodriguez, kicked A-Rod in the ass.
The kick was a good thing for the Yankees who needed someone to wake up A-Rod, but it comes at a difficult time for the team. They are struggling to keep their post season hopes alive...
The kick was a good thing for the Yankees who needed someone to wake up A-Rod, but it comes at a difficult time for the team. They are struggling to keep their post season hopes alive...
Next Up For Michael Phelps, Beach Volleyball and The 200 Hurdles
- By Bubba Spinoli
- Published 08/11/2008
- General Sports Satire
- Unrated
Michael Phelps is an extraordinary athlete. So extraordinary in fact, that he is trying to complete a feat that has never even been attempted in the history of the Olympics. He is trying to win every individual gold medal that is available.
So far, so good for Phelps, although all he has done up until now at the Beijing Olympics is prove that he is the best in the water. His next two attempts at gold will be much more challenging...
So far, so good for Phelps, although all he has done up until now at the Beijing Olympics is prove that he is the best in the water. His next two attempts at gold will be much more challenging...
Tiger Woods Completes Historical Run At PGA Championship
- By Sandy Vukovich
- Published 08/10/2008
- General Sports Satire
- Unrated
Tiger Woods completed another stellar round from the couch on Sunday to pull away and win the PGA Championship. It was his second consecutive major championship since he had surgery on his leg.
Woods was granted an exception from the PGA that allowed him to play the tournament via satellite on his Sony PlayStation. His first round was strong, but the second and third rounds were lackluster. Woods blamed those two rounds on too much Madden the night before...
Woods was granted an exception from the PGA that allowed him to play the tournament via satellite on his Sony PlayStation. His first round was strong, but the second and third rounds were lackluster. Woods blamed those two rounds on too much Madden the night before...
NFL Network To Create Preseason Awards, Bribe Fans
- By Oscar Baines
- Published 08/9/2008
- Football Satire
- Unrated
The NFL will do just about anything to receive attention and the same can be said for their NFL Network. The station that continually shows any game where the final score finished within three points has now gone over the edge.
The NFL has announced that they will be offering preseason awards after the last game of the preseason. The awards show will be televised live on the NFL Network, but subscribers must make concessions if they want to watch the show...
The NFL has announced that they will be offering preseason awards after the last game of the preseason. The awards show will be televised live on the NFL Network, but subscribers must make concessions if they want to watch the show...
Favre Shocked At News Conference, Thought Agent Said Mets
- By Englar Stewart
- Published 08/8/2008
- Football Satire
- Unrated
Brett Favre was introduced to the New York media yesterday, and he was a bit confused when he showed up for the press conference. Favre agreed to the trade to send him away from the Packers, but he claims he was confused as to which team he was joining.
Originally, Favre said in the news conference, he thought he was being traded to the New York Mets. He told reporters that his agent informed him he would be joining the Mets...
Originally, Favre said in the news conference, he thought he was being traded to the New York Mets. He told reporters that his agent informed him he would be joining the Mets...
Amazingly Woods Leads Again In Major He Is Not Playing
- By Sandy Vukovich
- Published 08/7/2008
- General Sports Satire
- Unrated
Tiger Woods may be on the shelf with an injury, but that is not stopping him from still setting records. After winning the British Open without even playing at the course, Woods has once again put himself in position to win another major.
Woods has a three stroke lead after the first day of the PGA Championship. Woods, dressed in a red pair of pajamas played brilliantly from the couch on Thursday. He now will try and hold the lead in day two...
Woods has a three stroke lead after the first day of the PGA Championship. Woods, dressed in a red pair of pajamas played brilliantly from the couch on Thursday. He now will try and hold the lead in day two...
Chinese Restaurants Run Out Of Fortune Cookies At Olympics
- By Jerome Davis
- Published 08/6/2008
- General Sports Satire
- Unrated
The Beijing games are just about to get under way this weekend and athletes from all around the world were annoyed with the host country on Wednesday. It seems that all restaurants in China have run out of fortune cookies.
Many superstitious athletes were stunned on Wednesday when they arrived in Chinese restaurants looking for their final meals before beginning preparations to compete. No matter which restaurants they ate at, there were no fortune cookies to be found...
Many superstitious athletes were stunned on Wednesday when they arrived in Chinese restaurants looking for their final meals before beginning preparations to compete. No matter which restaurants they ate at, there were no fortune cookies to be found...
Prince Fielder Eats Thirty Seven Cheeseburgers, Then Cries
- By Oscar Baines
- Published 08/5/2008
- Baseball Satire
- Unrated
Prince Fielder apparently worked up an appetite when he shoved a fellow teammate in the dugout on Monday night. Fielder was seen at McDonald's shortly after the game and the word is that he ate thirty seven cheeseburgers.
Fielder ordered seven cheeseburgers with pickles only, ten with mayo and mustard, four with bacon, eight with tomatoes, and eight more with lettuce. What happened after that display was even more startling...
Fielder ordered seven cheeseburgers with pickles only, ten with mayo and mustard, four with bacon, eight with tomatoes, and eight more with lettuce. What happened after that display was even more startling...
Steve Smith Apologizes To Try And Get Suspension Lifted
- By Bill Shanker
- Published 08/4/2008
- Football Satire
- Unrated
Steve Smith was put in a tough situation this past weekend. The Carolina Panthers star wide receiver was hit with a two game suspension for a brawl that he was involved in with a fellow teammate.
Smith returned to practice on Monday and apologized for the incident. He claims that the apology was just a way to possibly get his suspension from the team lifted...
Smith returned to practice on Monday and apologized for the incident. He claims that the apology was just a way to possibly get his suspension from the team lifted...
Yankees Owner Furious Over Ivan Rodriguez Trade After One Game
- By Jerome Davis
- Published 07/31/2008
- Baseball Satire
- Unrated
The New York Yankees made what seemed like a significant trade on Wednesday. They acquired future hall of famer Ivan Rodriguez from the Detroit Tigers, but after they lost to the Angels on Thursday, their George Steinbrenner wanna be owner Hank ranted during a press conference.
"What the hell was that? Our GM (Brian Cashman) goes and trades for a guy, and the next day we lose. What good is it to pick a guy up if we are going to lose with him. What a waste of a trade," said Steinbrenner...
"What the hell was that? Our GM (Brian Cashman) goes and trades for a guy, and the next day we lose. What good is it to pick a guy up if we are going to lose with him. What a waste of a trade," said Steinbrenner...
Manny Ramirez Wants To Be Traded To The Knicks
- By Andrea Madsen
- Published 07/30/2008
- Baseball Satire
- Unrated
Manny Ramirez has always been a bit of a wacky character, but his latest demand is way out of left field. Ramirez has asked the Boston Red Sox to begin negotiations with the New York Knicks involving a trade of the star outfielder.
It has become known in recent days that Ramirez wanted to leave the Sox, but up until now everyone believed it would just be to another baseball team. That is not the case, however, after he told the Red Sox that he wanted to leave the league all together...
It has become known in recent days that Ramirez wanted to leave the Sox, but up until now everyone believed it would just be to another baseball team. That is not the case, however, after he told the Red Sox that he wanted to leave the league all together...
Donaghy Wins Gambling Pool After Being Sentenced To 15 Months
- By Bubba Spinoli
- Published 07/29/2008
- Basketball Satire
- Unrated
Tim Donaghy disgraced the NBA for many of the years that he was an official for the league. He was an avid gambler that has now received a sentence of fifteen months for a gambling scandal.
Donaghy erupted with joy when the judge read the sentence. Afterward, Donaghy explained that he was involved in a betting pool that had to do with how long he would be sentenced. He just happened to have the number 15 months...
Donaghy erupted with joy when the judge read the sentence. Afterward, Donaghy explained that he was involved in a betting pool that had to do with how long he would be sentenced. He just happened to have the number 15 months...
Richie Sexson Avoids Domestic Abuse Charge With Swing And Miss
- By Oscar Baines
- Published 07/28/2008
- Baseball Satire
- Unrated
Richie Sexson who was recently signed by the New York Yankees was a lucky man late Monday evening. Sexson avoided domestic abuse charges when his wife called the police.
The cops showed up at their home within ten minutes of the call from Sexson's wife. When they questioned her about the incident she explained what happened...
The cops showed up at their home within ten minutes of the call from Sexson's wife. When they questioned her about the incident she explained what happened...
Jimmie Johnson Wins Allstate 400, Returns To Coaching
- By Jerome Davis
- Published 07/27/2008
- Football Satire
- Unrated
Jimmie Johnson won at the Indianapolis Speedway on Sunday. The big news, however, came after the race when Johnson announced that he was once again going back into coaching.
Johnson retired from the NFL after coaching a few seasons with the Miami Dolphins. In the time after he retired, he reinvented himself as a top of the line NASCAR driver. Up until now he had not missed coaching...
Johnson retired from the NFL after coaching a few seasons with the Miami Dolphins. In the time after he retired, he reinvented himself as a top of the line NASCAR driver. Up until now he had not missed coaching...
Mike Hampton Returns In Atlanta, But Nobody Cares
- By Jerome Davis
- Published 07/26/2008
- Baseball Satire
- Unrated
Mike Hampton made his first start in three years on Saturday and you would think somebody would have paid attention. Nope. That was not the case. Hampton started the game against the Philadelphia Phillies Saturday afternoon.
Upon taking the mound, it should have been a joyous occasion for Hampton. It was not. The Phillies pounded him and his poor outing will probably land him back on the disabled list. The Braves even gave him a huge lead to hold...
Upon taking the mound, it should have been a joyous occasion for Hampton. It was not. The Phillies pounded him and his poor outing will probably land him back on the disabled list. The Braves even gave him a huge lead to hold...
Favre To Get Orange Jersey Upon Reporting To Packers Camp
- By Sandy Vukovich
- Published 07/25/2008
- Football Satire
- Unrated
Brett Favre has announced that he will report to Packers training camp this weekend. Once he gets there, he will be in for a shock from the team. They have instructed that Favre wear an orange jersey when he is out on the field.
The orange jersey will represent that Favre must be there, but that the Packers do not consider him part of the training camp. The rest of the players reporting have been told to act as if anyone with an orange jersey does not even exist.
Favre will be one of two men that will be wearing the orange jersey. The other is the water boy. Neither of which appear to be hurt by having to wear the orange jersey...
The orange jersey will represent that Favre must be there, but that the Packers do not consider him part of the training camp. The rest of the players reporting have been told to act as if anyone with an orange jersey does not even exist.
Favre will be one of two men that will be wearing the orange jersey. The other is the water boy. Neither of which appear to be hurt by having to wear the orange jersey...
Several Mets Cry After Taking Over First Place In NL East
- By George Starworth
- Published 07/24/2008
- Baseball Satire
- Unrated
The New York Mets were backed into a corner they do not like being in after Thursday afternoon's victory over the Philadelphia Phillies. That corner is first place in the National League East.
Several Mets had a hard time dealing with the pressures that come with first place after the game. Both Carlos Beltran and Jose Reyes appeared physically shaken after their win on Thursday.
Beltran was trying to hold back tears as he spoke to reporters. "I can't believe we are back in first place. I don't want to be in this position. ..
Several Mets had a hard time dealing with the pressures that come with first place after the game. Both Carlos Beltran and Jose Reyes appeared physically shaken after their win on Thursday.
Beltran was trying to hold back tears as he spoke to reporters. "I can't believe we are back in first place. I don't want to be in this position. ..
Hawks Childress Chooses Another Country Over Atlanta Hawks
- By Oscar Baines
- Published 07/23/2008
- Basketball Satire
- Unrated
Josh Childress has become a very good player in the NBA. That apparently was not good enough for him after he signed a deal with a Greek club to go and play overseas.
The Atlanta Hawks have become such a laughingstock of an NBA franchise, that a player would rather go and play in another country than continue to play with the Hawks. The move is not entirely the Hawks fault, however.
Childress explained his desire to become one of the best players in the league. He knew that was not going to happen in the NBA, so he fled to another country...
The Atlanta Hawks have become such a laughingstock of an NBA franchise, that a player would rather go and play in another country than continue to play with the Hawks. The move is not entirely the Hawks fault, however.
Childress explained his desire to become one of the best players in the league. He knew that was not going to happen in the NBA, so he fled to another country...
Disclaimer - The news reported on this site is considered satire. This means the information
cannot be taken seriously and must never be mistaken for fact. Any likeness to any person, place, or thing is
intended to be taken with satirical tones.







-photo.jpg)















