General Sports Satire

Roger Federer has been at the top of the tennis world for a long time. He has been ranked number one in the world for a record string of time, and has won almost every major tournament.

One tournament that he struggles at is the French Open. Today, Federer finally spoke about his struggles on the clay surface. "Tennis was made to be played on concrete, not clay. It's bad enough that the color of the surface is orange, but then on top of that, it is clay," he said in an interview with a fake newspaper.

Federer's main problem in not winning the French Open has been Raphael Nadal. Nadal has had no such problems with the clay, and was harsh in his criticisms of Federer.

On the verge of doing something historic, Big Brown on Tuesday made the kind of demands that are usually reserved for high profile human athletes. The horse demanded that his name be changed before the Belmont Stakes this weekend.

The horse's trainer is scurrying to find a name that the horse formerly known as Big Brown will accept. Instead of doing their usual gallop on Tuesday, the trainer was reading a list of names off to the horse.

By the end of the day, both the horse and the trainer were frustrated with the process.

The Detroit Red Wings have put such a thorough beating on the Pittsburgh Penguins through the first four games of the Stanley Cup Finals, that the Penguins have conceded the championship.

Pittsburgh was supposed to play in Detroit in game five tonight, but they decided not to make the trip after losing game four. The Penguins players voted against the trip on Sunday night.

"We took a vote and decided that it was not worth the flight to go to Detroit and get destroyed in the next game. Then we would.