Fat Bastard
Fat Bastard Prince Fielder apparently worked up an appetite when he shoved a fellow teammate in the dugout on Monday night. Fielder was seen at McDonald's shortly after the game and the word is that he ate thirty seven cheeseburgers.

Fielder ordered seven cheeseburgers with pickles only, ten with mayo and mustard, four with bacon, eight with tomatoes, and eight more with lettuce. What happened after that display was even more startling.

Fielder put his hands on his head and began to cry. That's right, a grown man crying like a baby. A reporter who happened to be ordering food of his own, quickly moved towards Fielder and began asking him questions.

When the reporter
asked why he ate thirty seven burgers Fielder lost it. "I'm such a fat bastar-r-r-r-d. I can't help it. I'm built like a b-b-b-b-rick h-h-ouse," said Fielder as he brushed away tears.

"My daddy was a fat bastard and now I'm a f-f-f-at bastard. Why couldn't I play with the etch a sketch, why did johnny (a childhood friend) always have to own all the good toys," said Fielder."

Prince was most likely just feeling a bit down about the Brewers melting down over the past week. They have been one of the coldest teams in baseball and Fielder gave some insight to why during his breakdown.

"It's all my f-f-f-f-ault, I'm a fat b-b-b-bastard," he said. So there you have it. Prince Fielder is a fat bastard.