Woods Takes Year Off
Woods Takes Year Off Tiger Woods pulled off what some believe was a miraculous performance at the U.S. Open over the weekend in winning another major. What he did today was even more miraculous.

Woods has decided to take the rest of the season off, a move he claims will be his new operating procedure once he wins a major. He said today that he feels like he has enough money, and he would rather just win a major and then sit out the rest of the season from now on.

There was speculation that Woods would be taking the rest of the season off to have surgery on his ailing knee. He put those rumors to rest this afternoon at a press conference.

"Most people think I'm taking the rest of the season off to fix my ailing knee. That is not the case. I am taking the rest of
the season off because I have enough money, and nobody can beat me. So I figure, why play at all?" said Woods.

When a reporter at the press conference asked Woods about when he would return, he replied, "I'll come back when one of these scrubs raises their game and can challenge me. Until then, I have no reason to keep going out and beating their asses."

Woods also made reference to the fact that he might take up motorcycle riding in his free time. He said that since nobody could play with him at his current level, that he would try to further injure himself to try and even the playing field.

Rumors have been circulating that Woods might take the next few months off so he can practice playing golf left handed, another option that would even the playing field, even if it would only slightly even it.