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Han Solo Leads Americans Into Soccer Final of Olympics
http://www.sportssatire.com/articles/77/1/231/Han-Solo-Leads-Americans-Into-Soccer-Final-of-Olympics/Page1.html
By Englar Stewart
Published on 08/21/2008
 
Han Solo had a long bout with Jabba the Hutt, but nothing that happened back then can prepare her for what she will face on Thursday. Solo is getting ready to lead the American soccer team into battle against Brazil for the gold medal at the Olympics.

Beijing has never seen such a character as Solo. Last year, she was kicked off the American team for comments made after her backup, Brianna Scurry, was torched for four goals against this Brazil team.

Han Solo had a long bout with Jabba the Hutt, but nothing that happened back then can prepare her for what she will face on Thursday. Solo is getting ready to lead the American soccer team into battle against Brazil for the gold medal at the Olympics.

Beijing has never seen such a character as Solo. Last year, she was kicked off the American team for comments made after her backup, Brianna Scurry, was torched for four goals against this Brazil team.

Solo has drawn on her career in the Star Wars saga. She claims that her time in Star Wars has helped her prepare for what lies ahead on Thursday. "My time in Star Wars was precious. It taught me that even beings that were not human could score with, I mean, on me. I have grown since then and I am now ready to lead the U.S. to gold," said Solo.

She still feels that having worked for Jabba The Hutt prepared her fully for life as a soccer player. When she accepted a charter to transport Luke Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi to a foreign land, she learned of patience.

The U.S. soccer team is hoping that the Olympic final does not end like her character in Star Wars, frozen and headless. Only time will tell whether Han Solo has what it takes to lead America to gold.