The New Orleans Saints announced on Monday that they have completed a deal for New York Giants tight end Jeremy Shockey. The Saints announced at the same news conference that Shockey will not play for the Saints, he will be their resident drunk mascot.

The Saints are trying to get closer to their fan base. The move for Shockey does not come as a complete surprise. They will use Shockey on Tuesday and Thursday nights to go out and get drunk with their fans in bars.

He has been instructed that he must then find any reporter he can find and shout obscenities into their cameras. The new job the Saints have given him is not too far off from the job he had with the Giants.

The only difference between the two is that he will now be doing his drinking in Louisiana and not on the streets of New York. New Orleans has also informed Shockey that on Sundays, he will ride into the stadium on a motorcycle, and only after he drinks a quart of vodka.

Shockey was pleased to hear the news of his new job. "It's about time an NFL team can come up with plays that suit my strong points. I definitely can drink, and I love bars and motorcycles, so I am looking forward to joining the Saints," said Shockey.

One person who was not happy to see Shockey go was Alex Rodriguez. Rodriguez could always count on Shockey to do stupid things and steal the front page of the news once or twice a month, and now that option is gone.