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Suscpicious Red Jelly Bean Confiscated From Josh Hamilton At Derby
http://www.sportssatire.com/articles/48/1/214/Suscpicious-Red-Jelly-Bean-Confiscated-From-Josh-Hamilton-At-Derby/Page1.html
By George Starworth
Published on 07/15/2008
 
Josh Hamilton was having himself a dream of a night at the home run derby in New York on Monday. That was until a red jelly bean that he was using for luck was confiscated by men acting as Major League Baseball officials.

Hamilton was walking to the on deck circle after batting practice Monday when a fellow player noticed something small and oval shaped in his back pocket. The player, who wished to remain anonymous, claimed that he was looking at Hamilton's a** because he is gay.

Josh Hamilton was having himself a dream of a night at the home run derby in New York on Monday. That was until a red jelly bean that he was using for luck was confiscated by men acting as Major League Baseball officials.

Hamilton was walking to the on deck circle after batting practice Monday when a fellow player noticed something small and oval shaped in his back pocket. The player, who wished to remain anonymous, claimed that he was looking at Hamilton's a** because he is gay.

He said he was turned off, however, when he saw the little turd-like piece through his back pocket. The player then notified a Major League official.

The official approached Hamilton and asked what was in his back pocket. Hamilton then told the official it was a red jelly bean and he always kept it for good luck. The official then confiscated the jelly bean.

"In today's world, we need to protect the integrity of the game. I did not know if the jelly bean could have been injected with steroids, so I confiscated it," said the official. The jelly bean was sent off for testing.

At around 9:00 Eastern time, the results came back. It indeed was just a jelly bean. "I used that jelly bean, of the red color, for good luck this whole season. Now I don't know what will happen in the second half. Some people use steroids to bulk up, I use jelly beans. What's the big deal?," said Hamilton late Monday night.