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Barry Bonds Acquitted By Future President Barack Obama
http://www.sportssatire.com/articles/18/1/172/Barry-Bonds-Acquitted-By-Future-President-Barack-Obama/Page1.html
By Bill Shanker
Published on 06/6/2008
 
Barry Bonds had his trial date set on Friday. He will stand trial on March 2nd of next year. That was the bad news for Bonds. Shortly after the judge set his trail date, the good news came down for Bonds.

Barack Obama called Bonds personally to tell him not to worry about the trial date. He told Bonds that if he does win the presidency, that one of his first moves would be to acquit Bonds.

Bonds called the phone call pleasant afterwards, and hopped in his car. When asked where he was going, he replied, "I'm going to drop off some cash for Barack, you know, for his war chest."

Barry Bonds had his trial date set on Friday. He will stand trial on March 2nd of next year. That was the bad news for Bonds. Shortly after the judge set his trail date, the good news came down for Bonds.

Barack Obama called Bonds personally to tell him not to worry about the trial date. He told Bonds that if he does win the presidency, that one of his first moves would be to acquit Bonds.

Bonds called the phone call pleasant afterwards, and hopped in his car. When asked where he was going, he replied, "I'm going to drop off some cash for Barack, you know, for his war chest."

He seemed agitated at a reporter who asked him if Obama was only going to pardon him because he was black. "Damn it, I'm a man too. Did anyone ever think he might be pardoning me because I'm a man, and not because I'm black?," he shouted as he drove off.

Obama has made several disturbing concessions since he won the Democratic nomination. Yesterday, he stirred controversy when he said that his plan to help with overcrowded jails was to release all African Americans currently in prison.

His opponent in the upcoming race, John McCain had a completely different idea about Bonds. "If I win, Barry goes to jail without a trial. Why waste people's tax money when the jury is going to find him guilty anyway because of the color of his skin," said McCain.